Larry 6 - Dump 510, Blues Bar - Inserito Opzioni

[The Ancient One]

- Frase 1 -
The boys could find my number written by the telephone.



- Frase 2 -
The sort of girl a Lytton man could take, then leave alone.



- Frase 3 -
In high school I was voted Miss Congeniality.



- Frase 4 -
But then I asked myself, "Why am I doin' it fer free?"



- Frase 5 -
I knew when you grew up next door you had a crush on me.



- Frase 6 -
You'd been the high school quarterback, then joined the L.P.D.



- Frase 7 -
That night you caught me hookin' and you hauled me off to jail,



- Frase 8 -
You wrapped your arms around me, and you held me without bail!



- Frase 9 -
The lifeline that you threw me were the handcuffs that you used.



- Frase 10 -
You left my heart locked up, and my wrists a little bruised.



- Frase 11 -
You brought me down for questioning, I had to say, "I do!"



- Frase 12 -
Your kisses sentenced me to life, in Cell Block Love with you.



- Frase 13 -
I sit alone and cry when you refuse to wear your vest.



- Frase 14 -
I never know if you'll come home or take one in the chest.



- Frase 15 -
I sit and stare when you won't wear your firearm like you should.



- Frase 16 -
I know someday they'll find you, dear, flatlinin' in the 'hood!



- Frase 17 -
I pray you're just unfaithful when you don't come home 'til two.



- Frase 18 -
Perhaps I oughta go back out and hit the streets like you.



- Frase 19 -
We sure could use the extra cash, for bills we've plenty of,



- Frase 20 -
And you could run me in, like on the night we fell in love!



- Frase 21 -
I waive my right to silence, here's the statement that I'll sign:



- Frase 22 -
I do confess to lovin' you and wantin' you fer mine!



- Frase 23 -
Is it so wrong, a workin' girl who loves a man in blue?



- Frase 24 -
I hope I never make parole from Cell Block Love with you.



- Frase 25 -
It's never solitary here in Cell Block Love with you.



- Frase 26 -
My prison address, darlin', is in Cell Block Love with you!



- Frase 27 -
Don't you love that picture of me? They made it look like I was really riding that ear of corn!



- Frase 28 -
This bartender is not a man you'd care to rub palms with.



- Frase 29 -
The bartender here in the Blues Bar has seen better days. No one wants to tip a guy who only serves non-alcoholic beverages!



- Frase 30 -
I could really use a whiskey.



- Frase 31 -
Me, too! I'm sorry, but the closest thing we have is sproutberry juice.



- Frase 32 -
Exactly what sort of beverages do you serve here?



- Frase 33 -
I make a superb "King Alphalfa." Or perhaps a "Broccoli & non-brand name cola?" What about a "Zucchini Wallbanger?"



- Frase 34 -
Yuck. How about a mineral water?



- Frase 35 -
Nope. Fresh out. Got some pool water, but it's a little chlorine-y!



- Frase 36 -
Got a match?



- Frase 37 -
There's some right there on the end of the bar. Help yourself.



- Frase 38 -
How's the weather here, barkeep?



- Frase 39 -
How would I know? I'm in a basement, looking out at a lighted swimming pool! I don't even know if it's day or night!



- Frase 40 -
Hey, gimme a couple of long-necks.



- Frase 41 -
A cup full of long next?



- Frase 42 -
A couple. You know, two!



- Frase 43 -
Too long next?



- Frase 44 -
Two. Long necks. Beer.



- Frase 45 -
Tulong next bier?



- Frase 46 -
Now you've got it!



- Frase 47 -
Got it? What the hell are we talking about?



- Frase 48 -
Gimme two beers, please!



- Frase 49 -
I'm sorry, sir, but we have no alcoholic beverages anywhere on the premises. This is a HEALTH spa, not a roadhouse!



- Frase 50 -
No, thanks. I've got enough swizzle sticks already.



- Frase 51 -
If you could reach them, they'd feel just like booze bottles.



- Frase 52 -
The bar has a plentiful supply of healthy beverages:



- Frase 53 -
Poorsappo Japanese-flavoured rice near-beer...



- Frase 54 -
Zimzity clear malt wine alcohol-free cooler...



- Frase 55 -
Dom Perrier champagne-flavored mineral fluid...



- Frase 56 -
"Clearly Utah Salt Flats" sparkling seltzer (in regular or Extra Flat n' Salty)...



- Frase 57 -
...and Chameleon Multischnapps, the schnapps that "tastes different on every woman who wears it."



- Frase 58 -
You'll have to ask the bartender if you can take his bottle.



- Frase 59 -
Hey, that reminds me of a little joke. Stop me if you've heard it. A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I betcha ten bucks I can identify the exact contents of any drink you make."



- Frase 60 -
The bartender takes him up on it and mixes (out of sight, under the counter) a drink made out of half a dozen different liquors. He hands it to the guy, who takes a sip.



- Frase 61 -
"Aha," says the guy, "that's exactly two parts Poppinov Vodka...



- Frase 62 -
...one part Picardi 191 rum...



- Frase 63 -
...three parts Hiram Wallbanger Road Apple-Flavored Schnapps...



- Frase 64 -
...two parts Creme de Secaucus...



- Frase 65 -
...one part Old Korean War Veteran Whiskey...



- Frase 66 -
...one part GlennGary GlenRoss Scotch...



- Frase 67 -
...and three parts Franjelibuieca."



- Frase 68 -
The bartender is astonished! "Why, that's perfect!" he exclaims, and hands the guy ten bucks.



- Frase 69 -
A fat guy sittin' down the bar has watched the whole thing. He slides a glass down the bar and yells, "Here ya go, buddy! Bet you can't tell me what's in THIS!"



- Frase 70 -
The guy picks up the glass, sniffs it gently, then takes a sip. He spits it out immediately and screams, "That tastes like PISS!"



- Frase 71 -
And the fat guy says, "Well, yeah, sure. But WHOSE?"



- Frase 72 -
I gotta million of 'em!



- Frase 73 -
Ahhh! That shore hits t'spot!



- Frase 74 -
Mmmm. Ya know, ah think that'un was even better'n tha' first'un!



- Frase 75 -
Whew! It shore is hot in heer!



- Frase 76 -
Ya know, ah coul' jes' keep doin' this all night!



- Frase 77 -
Damn! Ah'm dow' tah mah last beer, lil' buddy!



- Frase 78 -
Looks like Gary done fixed mah audjo pro'lem. Time tah head back to the salt mines!



- Frase 79 -
Ya know, ah really love this stuff!



- Frase 80 -
Man! Thar' ain' nuttin' like a good cold one every now and then! It's soooo hot in heer.



- Frase 81 -
(LOUD BURP) Brrrraaaaappppp! Why, darlin'. 'Scuse lil' ol' me!



- Frase 82 -
Damn! Does it seem hot in here to you? Ah'm burnin' up!



- Frase 83 -
Gol dammit, Larry! Ah gotta hava break. Ain' chu got privledges to the sauner?



- Frase 84 -
Why, yes, Burgundy, I believe the "sauner" is open to all guests.



- Frase 85 -
Wall, it shore ain' open to us perfarmers. Ah could shore use a nice sweat 'bout now! Waddaya say you and me get awl sweaty together?



- Frase 86 -
In fact, I've been looking for a date to the sauna tonight for quite a while. I'm going to meet some, uh, "friends" there later on; I'd be pleased if you would be my guest!



- Frase 87 -
Soun's good, lil' buddy. Jes' gimme a minute so's ah kin get outta this damn heavy-weight sparklie dress. You go on ahead. Ah'll meet cha there in 'bout two shakes of a cow's tit!



- Frase 88 -
(How colloquial!)



- Frase 89 -
(Guess she's going to take that sixth beer with her! Oh, well. Off to the sauna!)



- Frase 90 -
Perhaps you should try looking at her first.



- Frase 91 -
Hey! Wha happen'd ta mah mike?



- Frase 92 -
How am ah supposed to perfarm with no pee ay system?



- Frase 93 -
I buzzed for a stagehand, Burgundy. He's coming right away.



- Frase 94 -
Who's gonna fix mah microphone, anyhow? Ah cain't sing without no mike!



- Frase 95 -
Stop griping, will ya? Here he is now!



- Frase 96 -
Oh, Burgundy! Back off. You're stho het'ro!



- Frase 97 -
Let'sth sthee what'sth wrong here, sthall we?



- Frase 98 -
Maybe it'sth the plug?



- Frase 99 -
It'sth justht thisth sthilly loosthe connesthtion again! There, that sthhould do it!



- Frase 100 -
(WITH FEEDBACK, ECHO) Tasthting! Tasthting!



- Frase 101 -
All sthet, Burgundy, honey! Have you done your Judy Garland medley yet?



- Frase 102 -
(DISGUSTED) Get outta here.



- Frase 103 -
Ah, dammitahel! Thar it goes ag'in!



- Frase 104 -
Hey! Ya gonna fix this thing?



- Frase 105 -
Gary's on his way, Burgundy! He should be here soon.



- Frase 106 -
How long does it take him to git here, anyhow? He needs ta fix mah mike! Ah cain't sing without no mike!



- Frase 107 -
Hurry up, Gary. Her whining is even worse than her singing!



- Frase 108 -
I HEARD THAT!



- Frase 109 -
You're stho hard on the equipment, Burgie!



- Frase 110 -
Did you sthcrew up the plug again?



- Frase 111 -
Sthame thing again! There, that sthhould do it!



- Frase 112 -
(WITH FEEDBACK, ECHO) Tasthting! Tasthting!



- Frase 113 -
All sthet, Burgundy, honey! Have you done your medley from "The Fantasticks" yet?



- Frase 114 -
(DISGUSTED) Get outta here.



- Frase 115 -
Burgundy looks a little juiced...



- Frase 116 -
...but not enough to go out with you!



- Frase 117 -
Burgundy looks like she's currently enjoying drinking those beers you gave her!



- Frase 118 -
Burgundy is La Costa Lotta's hot new blues singer. Her picture is prominently featured in the La Costa Lotta promo they run on "Stallions!"



- Frase 119 -
Burgundy is still hard at work... singing her little adenoids off!



- Frase 120 -




- Frase 121 -
Burgundy is growing more and more irritated as she stands around waiting for a member of the Amalgamated Stage Workers and Chair Bottom Scrapers Union to show up to fix her "broken" microphone.



- Frase 122 -
Burgundy seems almost relieved to start performing again. How will you stop her again?



- Frase 123 -
Burgundy is presently too intent on keeping her lips wrapped around those long necks to talk much.



- Frase 124 -
Burgundy is too busy performing to talk with you. And they say, she loves to perform! In fact, once she starts, she never stops!



- Frase 125 -
But there must be some way to get her to talk with you.



- Frase 126 -
Excuse me, miss. My name is Larry; Larry Laffer.



- Frase 127 -
Excuse me, miss. Is there anything I can do to help out?



- Frase 128 -
No, ah'm just waitin' fer a stagehand to git my show back on the road.



- Frase 129 -
If you're not busy, I have some questions about last year's Country Music Awards?



- Frase 130 -
Wah shore, Ah kin kill ah few minutes wi' a fellow music lover!



- Frase 131 -
Whoever said country singing wasn't hard work?



- Frase 132 -
Oops.



- Frase 133 -
Don't do that now. You'll get caught!



- Frase 134 -
You've already knocked it out. Why plug it back in?



- Frase 135 -
A 25-foot long, Belden 5815, braided-shield, low-impedance, limp jacket, studio-quality, microphone cable runs from Burgundy's Shure SM-58 microphone to an outlet on the edge of the stage. It is equipped with Cannon XLR-3 connectors at each end...



- Frase 136 -
...but the stage input end seems to be rather loose.



- Frase 137 -
Surely, Burgundy would miss her microphone cable.



- Frase 138 -
Testing, 1, 2...



- Frase 139 -
Larry! Talk into the MIKE, not the cord.



- Frase 140 -
Do you really want to Fast Forward and risk missing a gratuitous sex scene?



- Frase 141 -
Opps



- Frase 142 -
Yes



- Frase 143 -
Fast Forward



- Frase 144 -
(What an interesting arrangement of fruit.)



- Frase 145 -
Ooooh, I rather like that. But, right now I'm busy!



- Frase 146 -
It's Gary, the towel room attendant. Evidently he doubles as a stagehand.



- Frase 147 -
There's nothing on Gary that you want. Literally!



- Frase 148 -
Not now, honey. I'm here on business!



- Frase 149 -
Sthay! Fffinally coming out of the closthet, are we?



- Frase 150 -
Burgundy's guitar stand feels empty and alone without its friend.



- Frase 151 -
(Hmm. I haven't played guitar since I opened at Woodstock!)



- Frase 152 -
Another dream that's slipped across your brain into your memory to become real life!



- Frase 153 -
Burgundy's guitar stand stands ready and waiting.



- Frase 154 -
Burgundy's Martin D-35 sits resting in its stand.



- Frase 155 -
You don't need a guitar stand.



- Frase 156 -
You wouldn't want to steal her guitar.



- Frase 157 -
Why not?



- Frase 158 -
'Cause it's not a steal guitar!



- Frase 159 -
(DRUM FILL SOUNDFX) (drum fill)



- Frase 160 -
I know just how it feels to be stood up!



- Frase 161 -
Unfortunately, the dress feels rather empty at this time!



- Frase 162 -
Hey, look! Burgundy left her dress hanging backstage.



- Frase 163 -
Looks like Burgundy won't be needing this again.



- Frase 164 -
Looks like Burgundy won't be needing this again, since she now has access to an unlimited supply of Marine Corps fatigues!



- Frase 165 -
Sure, nobody can see you hiding backstage, but really!



- Frase 166 -
There's not that much to do backstage.



- Frase 167 -
There's nothing much to do back here, unless you're into ropes and flies.



- Frase 168 -
(That, of course, referred to the ropes that raise the scenery and curtains above the stage!)



- Frase 169 -




- Frase 170 -
The backstage area is filled with interesting technical equipment...



- Frase 171 -
...all of which is beyond your comprehension.



- Frase 172 -
You don't want any of this stuff.



- Frase 173 -
Hello. Anybody backstage?



- Frase 174 -
Hmmmm. Since nobody can see me back here...



- Frase 175 -
Does it help to get that out of your system once in a while?



- Frase 176 -
You can never tell when an adjustable wrench might come in handy.



- Frase 177 -
You could use the wrench... if you had it!



- Frase 178 -
Hey. I know just where to use an adjustable wench!



- Frase 179 -
It's a wRench, Larry!



- Frase 180 -
The matches are offered as a service to customers.



- Frase 181 -
So just take one if you want one, okay?



- Frase 182 -
You insert your hand into the bowl of matches up to your wrist and wriggle it around, hoping against hope to find something besides matches.



- Frase 183 -
You don't.



- Frase 184 -
The side of the tub of matches says, "For Our Matchless Friends."



- Frase 185 -
(Funny; that phrase was trite even in the 70's!!)



- Frase 186 -
Oh, boy! Free matches.



- Frase 187 -
You already have a match. Let's not be greedy.



- Frase 188 -
Burgundy's microphone stand is tall, slender, cylindrical, and it can extend in length to well over five feet!



- Frase 189 -
(Damn! Like I don't have enough of an inferiority complex!)



- Frase 190 -
CHECK! CHECK! Sibilance! CHECK!



- Frase 191 -
Fortunately for you, the microphone is dead.



- Frase 192 -
You love the feel of real plastic. It reminds you of Helga, that Swedish stewardess you met at the swap meet.



- Frase 193 -
The plastic palm fronds are beautiful to look at! They're so convincing, one might actually believe that tropical palm trees can flourish while stuffed into tiny pots and stored above dim, smoky bars.



- Frase 194 -
You can't take this plant. It's hot-glued in place.



- Frase 195 -
Hey, baby! Nice fronds! Beautiful stems! Love those leaves! You're MY kinda palm!



- Frase 196 -
You make it a point never to relieve yourself in public.



- Frase 197 -
Because whenever you do, people laugh.



- Frase 198 -
It's behind the bar. You can't knock on it. All you can do is admire the scenery.



- Frase 199 -
(WHISTLES AS IF TO SAY, "WOW!") Coolamundo! This tank looks into the swimming pool! It's like being at an aquarium, only the fish are babes!



- Frase 200 -
It's got thousands of gallons of water behind it. It might be a good idea to leave it in place.



- Frase 201 -
Nobody in the pool can hear you from in here.



- Frase 202 -
You consider playing "Little Dutch Boy" with the tank window, but fortunately there's no hole to plug!



- Frase 203 -
There's not much reason to use that here in the Blues Bar.



- Frase 204 -
It feels fuzzy and soft.



- Frase 205 -
Rather like your back and shoulders!



- Frase 206 -
Welcome to La Costa Lotta's Blues Bar. A "full-service" bar is available to meet all your refreshment needs.



- Frase 207 -
Comfortable seating is offered in a relaxed, contemporary atmosphere. And of course, the best in entertainment is yours to enjoy 24 hours a day.



- Frase 208 -
From up here on the stage, La Costa Lotta's Blues Bar looks completely different. It looks, oh, somehow lower.



- Frase 209 -
You can't take that! It's been ergonomically designed to give this room a relaxed, contemporary, yet uncomfortable, atmosphere!



- Frase 210 -
Hey, everybody! It's me, Larry Laffer!



- Frase 211 -
As usual, nobody notices.



- Frase 212 -
Sorry, you can't mount that... at least, not now.



- Frase 213 -
The stage is occupied. And this isn't "New Talent Night!"



- Frase 214 -
Solid stage! Good thing, since it's supporting your weight.



- Frase 215 -
You decide to hop up on-stage and let your star quality shine through!



- Frase 216 -
Burgundy, the Blues Bar's country western vocalist, is tonight's featured performer.



- Frase 217 -
Burgundy, the bar's featured vocalist, is singing her heart out on stage. There isn't a dry eye in the house.



- Frase 218 -
(Maybe she should do something about her spitting problem!)



- Frase 219 -
It's not that. They're probably musicians!



- Frase 220 -
Now that you're up here, the stage looks entirely different. Less appealing, in fact.



- Frase 221 -
The stage is empty right now. How tempting!



- Frase 222 -
You're ALWAYS trying to take center stage!



- Frase 223 -




- Frase 224 -
What did you want to take from the stage?



- Frase 225 -
If you really want to "take the stage," buy "Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist."



- Frase 226 -
(Hey. Look at all the cool ropes and stuff back here!)



- Frase 227 -
Did you want to talk to the singer, or were you simply holding a private conversation with the stage?



- Frase 228 -
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, BOYS AND GIRLS, AND CHILDREN OF ALL AGES!



- Frase 229 -
Whoa, Larry! Who died and made YOU ringmaster?!



- Frase 230 -
Earth to Larry. There's nobody on-stage to heckle.



- Frase 231 -
That's not a socially acceptable way of expressing your dissatisfaction with the entertainment.



- Frase 232 -




- Frase 233 -
Larry, you don't want to be responsible for some performer slipping and breaking something, do you?



- Frase 234 -
Synchronized swimming is your favorite part of the Olympics!