Larry 6 - Dump 310, Ingresso health spa - Inserito Opzioni

[The Ancient One]

- Frase 1 -
Ooooh, my! New perfume?



- Frase 2 -
What did she say?!



- Frase 3 -
When are you gonna learn to sthtay away from women, Sthweetie?



- Frase 4 -
I told you stho! Sthhe's justht not good enough for you, my little manhandler!



- Frase 5 -
Oh, sthut up!



- Frase 6 -
What doesth SHE have, that I don't have?!



- Frase 7 -
I can think of at least TWO things!



- Frase 8 -
Great. Now you've got athlete's palm.



- Frase 9 -
Don't look too closely. This particular carpet causes retinal damage if you stare at it too long.



- Frase 10 -
You can't pick it up, you're standing on it.



- Frase 11 -
Duh!



- Frase 12 -
Nice weave!



- Frase 13 -
The carpet is floored by your compliments.



- Frase 14 -
You consider making a contribution to the unsavory mix of bodily fluids that have already dampened this carpet, but your sense of cleanliness wins out!



- Frase 15 -
The door to the Cellulite Drainage Salon is locked. Did you remember to pull out that little button in the knob when you left?



- Frase 16 -
Fortunately, you're through in there.



- Frase 17 -
This door bears a tiny brass plaque with the delicate La Costa Lotta logo and the words, "Cellulite Drainage Salon."



- Frase 18 -
Anybody in there want to chew the fat?



- Frase 19 -
(GROAN) (Groan.)



- Frase 20 -




- Frase 21 -
You pound the desk a few times.



- Frase 22 -
Service! Service!



- Frase 23 -
I'm a human being, for heaven'sth sthake. You don't haft to act like I'm not here!



- Frase 24 -
At this counter, Gary the Towel Attendant helps guests check towels in and out.



- Frase 25 -
The counter is so attached to the floor.



- Frase 26 -
And you're getting that way, yourself!



- Frase 27 -
The desk isn't voice-activated, but that towel boy may be.



- Frase 28 -
Oh, screw the desk and get on with the game!



- Frase 29 -
(Hey! That's what I was trying to do.)



- Frase 30 -
Evidently Rosie is on break. She's locked her door.



- Frase 31 -
This door bears a tiny brass plaque with the delicate La Costa Lotta logo and the words, "High Colonic Treatment Suite."



- Frase 32 -
If you took that door, you'd violate the privacy of the customers who are having their colonics raised.



- Frase 33 -
Hey in there! How's the treatment going?



- Frase 34 -
No answer. Apparently your question just went in one rear, and out the other!



- Frase 35 -
There are less painful and more efficient ways of opening a door.



- Frase 36 -
You consider taking a drink from the fountain, but that water looks more than just a little polluted.



- Frase 37 -
There's a tasteful marble fountain in the middle of the lobby. It provides the familiar, soothing sound of recirculating dirty water.



- Frase 38 -
The fountain is much too heavy to be taken. And you certainly don't need any of that slimy water.



- Frase 39 -
You're not a talking fountain, are you?



- Frase 40 -
You never could resist the sound of running water!



- Frase 41 -
Presentsth? Whee! I justht love presentsth!



- Frase 42 -
Hmm. If you're that eager, maybe I don't want to give you anything at all!



- Frase 43 -
Damn! Blew it again.



- Frase 44 -
Huh?



- Frase 45 -
Nothing. Justh a figure of sthpeech!



- Frase 46 -
That'sth me on page three sthanding behind Billy Dee!



- Frase 47 -
Closthe behind!



- Frase 48 -
Isth thisth a proposthal?



- Frase 49 -
Be sthill my pounding heart!



- Frase 50 -
Ah! You justht knew I would enjoy that, didn't you! Well, you're right! I did!!



- Frase 51 -
Are you confusing me with that tramp, Thunderbird?! I hope not!



- Frase 52 -
How did you know they call me the Cristhco Kid?



- Frase 53 -
Gary the Towel Attendant flits around behind the towel counter, straightening up things that are already straight, and trying to unstraighten things that are straight!



- Frase 54 -
Why, thank you, Honey! You can count on me!



- Frase 55 -
Does thisth mean you want to "take" me out on a date?



- Frase 56 -
Ooooh, I accthept. I accthept!



- Frase 57 -
If you have any trouble in the locker room, justh sthqueal!



- Frase 58 -
If you need any help with that, pleasthe let me know!



- Frase 59 -
I justh love it when you do that!



- Frase 60 -
Hello.



- Frase 61 -
Oooh! Hello, sailor! New in town?



- Frase 62 -
What?! Wha, well, yes I am. Is this where I check in?



- Frase 63 -
Oh, no! You need to see Gammie, at the front desk, in the lobby. Out the door behind you, hang a left; it's the next room.



- Frase 64 -
Thanks.



- Frase 65 -
Don't mention it. Got a date for the spa formal yet?



- Frase 66 -
Hey. What kind of place is this?



- Frase 67 -
So I go left to find the front desk?



- Frase 68 -
Yes. And hurry. And hurry back!



- Frase 69 -
Excuse me, sir. Is this where I get my spa towel?



- Frase 70 -
Yesth, it isth, handsthome. May I pleasthe have your name?



- Frase 71 -
And room number? (Heh, heh, heh.)



- Frase 72 -
My name is Larry; Larry Laffer. And I'm in room... say, wait a minute! Exactly why do you want my room number?



- Frase 73 -
Why, stho we can charge you for the towelsth you don't return!



- Frase 74 -
Well, okay, I guess. It's room 201, right at the top of the stairs. Feel free to drop in...



- Frase 75 -
Oh, goodie!



- Frase 76 -
...NOT!!



- Frase 77 -
It doesn't seem like there are enough customers here to warrant a full-time towel attendant.



- Frase 78 -
Oh, I do more than thisth... much, much more!



- Frase 79 -
I don't want to know!



- Frase 80 -
Did I mention I want you in the worsth way possthible?



- Frase 81 -
That would BE the worst way possible!



- Frase 82 -
Oh, Sthweetie! I thought you'd never asthk!



- Frase 83 -
Oh, no. What have I done?



- Frase 84 -
Oh, don't go in there!



- Frase 85 -
Anyway, why would you want to? There'sth nothing insthide but women changing clothesth.



- Frase 86 -
This door bears a tiny brass plaque with the delicate La Costa Lotta logo and the words, "Women's Locker Room."



- Frase 87 -
To you, this is the ultimate in forbidden fruit. Behind this door lies sights you've never even dared to imagine!



- Frase 88 -
Pink tile... sit-down urinals... lilac scent... and more, much more!



- Frase 89 -
You wouldn't want to take this door away, because then dozens of naked women would suddenly be exposed to the world!



- Frase 90 -
Life is so UNFAIR sometimes, isn't it?



- Frase 91 -




- Frase 92 -
Why would you want to turn off the lights? You weren't trying to make it more romantic in here? Maybe for you and Gary? Larry!



- Frase 93 -
The right wall sconce hangs just a little lower than the left wall sconce.



- Frase 94 -
Some say the room is designed that way, but you think of it as an imperfection.



- Frase 95 -
To take the lamp off the wall, you'd need to find the needle-nosed pliers, the socket set, the hammer, the blueprints, and the caulking compound.



- Frase 96 -
You decide it's not worth the trouble.



- Frase 97 -
(VERY CLOSE TO THE MIKE, AND QUIETLY) If you've planted a secret microphone in this lamp... I'm on to you.



- Frase 98 -
What if the electricity travels upstream and gives you a nasty burn?



- Frase 99 -
This door bears a tiny brass plaque with the delicate La Costa Lotta logo and the words, "Men's Locker Room."



- Frase 100 -
You've had a fear of doors like this ever since junior high school.



- Frase 101 -
The ridicule... the shame... the snapping towels... the big boys always dropping their soap!



- Frase 102 -
You can't take the door. It's holding up the game. (And now, so are you!)



- Frase 103 -
There's nobody in there, is there? I'm coming in!



- Frase 104 -
Can't you at least wait until you're in the pool like everyone else?



- Frase 105 -
This pen is used to sign the towel register.



- Frase 106 -
Ha! Do you think La Costa Lotta's management is stupid? Don't you think they saw you coming a mile away and had these pens chained to the desk? You bet your polyester posterior they did!



- Frase 107 -
Hey, nice nib!



- Frase 108 -
Don't even think about using this pen to tattoo "Welcome to Jamaica, Mon. Have a nice day!"



- Frase 109 -
These plants feel so real. If you were a blind man wearing gloves, you'd never know they were fake!



- Frase 110 -
Big spiky plastic plants grow lushly amid the silk mulch and styrofoam soil.



- Frase 111 -
There's no need to carry a plant around with you. If you really want another plastic plant, when you finally escape this horrible place and get back home, just start a clipping from one of your other plastic plants.



- Frase 112 -
Hey, Plant! I think I love you!



- Frase 113 -
The plant responds, "Can't we just be fronds?" and leaves.



- Frase 114 -
You surreptitiously expose yourself to the plants.



- Frase 115 -
Shall I just sign my name here in the registry?



- Frase 116 -
Oh, yesth! Pleasthe! And don't forget your room number, okay?



- Frase 117 -
Yikes!



- Frase 118 -
Oh, Sthir! You needn't sthign in again. I remember you... perfectly!



- Frase 119 -
In this book, the spa keeps track of who has checked out their towels.



- Frase 120 -
While you might find a list of all guests who have checked out towels interesting, it's not really something that will help you escape from La Costa Lotta.



- Frase 121 -
(THUMP SOUND EFFECT) Thump!



- Frase 122 -
Oooooohhh!! You win! I'm yoursth!



- Frase 123 -
After all these years, you pick now to "come out of the closet?"



- Frase 124 -
Guests of the Spa don't have control over the ambient lighting. Everything's kept as bright as possible to best display the garish decorating.



- Frase 125 -




- Frase 126 -




- Frase 127 -
I do love a room totally covered in indoor-outdoor carpeting. It's so sharp and jazzy!



- Frase 128 -
This is the lobby of La Costa Lotta's exclusive Health Spa. A person waits behind the counter. There are several doors.



- Frase 129 -
Leave it here for now. Besides, Gary is watching!



- Frase 130 -
Hey! What do I have to do to get some service around here?



- Frase 131 -
You have to sthtop talking to the wallsth, for one thing, honey.



- Frase 132 -
You get an uneasy feeling that this would be a poor choice of locations in which to go waving that thing about.



- Frase 133 -
Excuse me, sir. Do you mind if I fondle your brochure?



- Frase 134 -
(Ooooh! Be sthill my beating heart!)



- Frase 135 -
Hi, big boy! New around here?



- Frase 136 -
Uh, no, err, I mean yes. And leaving soon, I hope!



- Frase 137 -
Ooooh. Sthuch a tease!



- Frase 138 -
Rubbing your fingers across the brochure advertising La Costa Lotta's many fine services and features, you remark...



- Frase 139 -
What an expensive feel!



- Frase 140 -
Oh, no I'm not!



- Frase 141 -
A rack of attractive advertising brochures rests on the counter. Printed on expensive paper, filled with full-color photographs, the brochures advertise La Costa Lotta's many services.



- Frase 142 -
You never can tell when I might want to learn what other wonderful features are available here at lovely La Costa Lotta.



- Frase 143 -
Deciding to conserve Earth's precious natural resources, you decide one of these brochures should be enough for anybody!



- Frase 144 -
You can't reach the sign. Too bad you didn't wear your platform shoes!



- Frase 145 -
The sign reads, "Health Spa."



- Frase 146 -
It's way over your head.



- Frase 147 -
(A feeling not wholly unfamiliar to you!)



- Frase 148 -
What would you say? Surely not, "Hey, baby! What's your sign?"



- Frase 149 -
Well, yeah. We could do that.



- Frase 150 -
Yes, we could do that... but it would be wrong!



- Frase 151 -
Why, you'd need a ten-foot pole to hit that sign. Trust me, you don't have one.



- Frase 152 -
Your hands explore the sinuous curves and graceful swells of the female statue. The cool marble of the figures belies the burning passion with which the nubile young Venus mounts her frothing stallionesque Adonis.



- Frase 153 -
Yuck! Somebody stuck gum in one of her crevices!



- Frase 154 -
The figures of a beautifully-proportioned young couple embrace while water cascades down their naked bodies. Art like this really brings out your primal urges!



- Frase 155 -
(REVERB) Mommy! I gotta go bathroom!



- Frase 156 -
(TRYING TO LIFT STATUE) Oof! Urgh! Hupppppp-aah!



- Frase 157 -
The marble statue is far too heavy to lift.



- Frase 158 -
(But you did manage to cop a quick feel!)



- Frase 159 -
Hi, guys! You two are really realistic, you know that?



- Frase 160 -
They completely ignore you.



- Frase 161 -
Say, they ARE realistic!



- Frase 162 -
They don't look like they're into threesomes.



- Frase 163 -
You can't reach them from here, but you just know they're soft and cuddly, like your beach towel at home.



- Frase 164 -
(Except without the big Farrah Fawcett printed on it!)



- Frase 165 -
Mmm, there are stacks of fresh, fluffy, terry cloth towels behind the counter!



- Frase 166 -
I'm sthorry, Sthir! Guests are not allowed to justht help themselves to towelsth.



- Frase 167 -
Oh. I'm unaccustomed to such luxurious service. What should I do?



- Frase 168 -
Just sthign the guestht registhtry here on the counter.



- Frase 169 -
I'm stho sthorry, Misthter Laffer, but there isth a one-towel per custhtomer limit.



- Frase 170 -
Oh. Okay. Sorry.



- Frase 171 -
Oh, it'sth all right with me. I'll give you anything!



- Frase 172 -
(Ulp!)



- Frase 173 -
Towels here are reserved for REGISTERED guests, not just any flake that wanders in from the parking lot.



- Frase 174 -
I'm stho sthorry, Misthter Laffer, but there isth a one-towel per custhtomer limit.



- Frase 175 -
How do you know I already have a towel?



- Frase 176 -
It's obvious, from that bulge in your pants I've been staring at!



- Frase 177 -
(EMBARRASSED) Ulp!



- Frase 178 -
You'd like to wipe that drool off the corner of your lip, but you're afraid the clerk will spot you!



- Frase 179 -
Hey, those towels were CLEAN, Larry!